10 February 2012

Squeak turns Two

To my little Squeak,

Today, darling girl, is your birthday. Two years ago, you entered our world and have turned it topsy turvey.

My sweet child, you were already teaching me things before you were even born.

Let me tell you about your birthing day.....

Mama was still pregnant at 42+3 weeks and was starting to think that your 21st was going to be held in my womb! I was gloriously round, with you snuggled in where you had grown so well. Three days before you born, Daddy decided to take his leave from work because my waddling around the house to catch up with Imp was getting too tiring for me. When he was on the phone to his work, explaining how he was taking his leave now, he spoke about how we still had no idea when you would arrive. Out of no where, I said "But it won't be too much longer". I really felt this. I don't know where it came from, but I just knew that you would come and meet us soon.

The next day, I started having small little labour niggles. The textbooks call it prelabour, but it felt pretty real to me! It would stop. Then start. Then stop. It was annoying but it allowed me time for rest and sleep.

Late in the evening on the 9th, the niggles were talking to me louder. Telling me that you would be here soon. I went to sleep that night with a little smile, safe in the knowledge that the wait would soon be over.

Early in the morning, and I mean it was still dark, I could no longer sleep or lie down any longer. I told Daddy to go fill the birth pool as I was hopping in. I lit candles and rubbed my belly between the niggles.


I spent some time in the pool, talking to Daddy while the rest of the house was asleep. It was just the two of us who knew that something special was going to happen.

A few hours later, your brother and sister awoke to find my midwife in the kitchen eating breakfast. Bewilderment soon changed to excitement as that meant it was Baby Day.  Your brother went off to school, not wanting to hang around and watch it all unfold. Imp was happy to watch and play around me while I settled into labouring.

Hours past and it felt like you were never going to come. Mama started to think that her body wasn't working properly and that we needed to go to hospital. It was getting to the point that we were about to pack some things and organise to drive in.

Then you gave me your precious gift. The gift of strength and the gift of surrender. They say that when you are in the deepest part of labour, that the waves no longer take your for a smooth ride. The waves dump you to the sea bed and you are struggling to get back up to the surface. I had spent a good couple of hours trying to reach the surface and it was making my body very tired. Then a voice, a sense, a quiet knowledge whispered,

"Let go"

I relinquished my control and let the waves take me where I needed to be. Your Daddy was crying when he knew you were nearly here. Imp was patting my head and covering me in little Imp kisses. I could feel my support around and then you unleashed your gift of strength. Soon I was roaring to bring you closer and then before I knew it, you shot across the pool and you were here.

My darling wee one, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You were the epitome of perfection. You were so quiet. You did not cry. You just took everything in while being snuggled against my breast.

The day of your birth was an amazing day for all us. Imp was able to witness a birth how it should be. I was able to regather my strength and it propelled me upon my road of transformation. Most of all, we had a new person in our family.

Today I will go into the room and look at the spot where you spent your first moments earthside. Later on, we will unwrap presents and sing you Happy Birthday and celebrate our love for our little Squeak.

Happy Birthday, my darling.


  1. Oh happy day. Love to you all as you celebrate. What an incredibly beautiful post, I am sure your little one will treasure this when she's older.

  2. Oh you made me cry ... beautiful. I love the way you've written about the birth. Very beautiful,

  3. What a beautiful post.I was thinking of you and squeak,I hope you got my text msg xoxo

  4. I just adore birth stories. This was beautiful...Saskia was born into the water too, and didn't make a sound for so long. Such a gentle way to be welcomes to the world x


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